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smirky smile

Arthur, darling, I had no idea that you were so musically gifted. Or that you could be so fun! Nice to see you actually have a hidden, not-so-deadly-serious side.

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Yes, somehow, I do. How lucky you must feel.


You know, he looks like a fun fellow, I bet we'd get along smashingly. I know this may shock you, but not everyone finds my presence torturous.

I'm so happy I could cry.


Color me impressed,...no? Perhaps you should go find him and both can walk into the sunset holding hands like soul mates. With gaga playing on the background, of course.

Oh, I know you are, always so thrilled with my affections.


You say that like that wasn't my goal the second I saw this.

We'll invite you to the wedding. Wear something appropriate!

Thrilled is the word, of course.


I wish you luck then.

I wonder what sort of clothing you call appropriate.

Of course. I know how much you love it when I fawn over you.


I'd tell you 'wear a suit', but that's like telling you 'remember to breathe' and 'at regular intervals during the day, feed yourself'.

So Much I can't stand it. Literally.


You should try them one day. I'm sure you aren't allergic.

Arthur made a pun. Dear God, it's the end of times.


I do wear them, I just don't care for them like they're my own children like certain persons.

Hell is freezing over.


Perhaps you should.

Thanks for bringing about the apocalypse, Arthur.


Arthur. I know this may be uncomfortable for you to hear, but it's time someone told you: suits aren't people. They don't have thoughts and feelings.

Welcome, I live to please.


God, I've been mistaken all this time?

And destroy, apparently.


Yes, yes you have. Please stop naming them and taking them on walks.

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